First Drafts: Miss. Frizzle's Space Adventure
A revival of my blog for the “First Drafts Series”.
I’ve had these first drafts of short stories gathering dust in my google drive for… years? I thought it was high time they saw the light of day! They were originally written as bonus content for the But Make It Scary Patreon, so many (if not all) of the stories will be about a beloved children’s character made into a horrifying creature. Have a fun, spooky time!
“I’ve got a pack of fruit snacks on mismatching socks!” Ralphie heard Phoebe say as she held up a plastic package filled with store brand fruit snacks.
“Phoebe, come one, those aren’t even the good ones.” Arnold rolled his eyes, but marked something down in his composition book nonetheless. He looked up and, by chance, made eye contact with Ralphie, who looked quickly away.
“Hey new kid! Care to join in on the fun?” Arnold asked, making his way toward Ralphie as the sea of fourth graders parted to let him through.
“Um. I don’t have any fruit snacks.” Ralphie’s ears turned bright red as he avoided Arnolds intense eye contact and stared at a spot on the elementary school’s checkered linoleum floor. It looked like a kid had spit their gum out, right on the floor, anywhere from 10 to 20 years ago, and then generations of students had walked over it until it was almost a part of the cheap plastic.
“It doesn’t have to be fruit snacks, we’ll take whatever you’ve got that’s good.” With all eyes on him, Ralphie’s trembling hands opened up his Rugrats lunchbox. Phil and Lil stared mischievously up at his classmates from the lid as Ralphie ruffled through it, reluctantly extracting the holy grail of lunch snacks.
“Oh dang,” Tim gasped, swiping the Fruit by the Foot from Ralphie and tossing it smoothly into Arnold's awaiting hands, “Look what Little Ralphie’s been hiding from us.”
“I’ll keep this, just until we see who’s won. What are you in for?” Arnold asked, placing the sweet treat in his bag and opening his notebook, his mechanical pencil hovering expectantly over the page as he looked at Ralphie with one eyebrow raised.
“Wh-what are we doing?” Ralphie asked, bracing himself for the laughter. He was not disappointed.
“Oh Ralphie, it’s tradition! Every Monday we all put down our best snacks on what stupid outfit the Friz will be wearing. So far we’ve got mismatching socks from Phoebe,” Phoebe raised her hand and waved to the crowd, as though she were already claiming her prize, “Tim thinks it’s gonna be the space dress, but I’ve got all my Teddy Grahams on the food dress.”
“But what if she wears mismatched socks and the space dress?” Ralphie regretted the question the second it left his mouth.
“Oh come on, Ralphie! Can you guys believe this kid?” Tim rolled his eyes and hopped up onto the railing of the staircase they were grouped next to, sliding down it. That seemed to be the end of that discussion.
“Listen new kid, I’ll go easy on you this time. I’ll put you down for space themed accessories. The planet earrings are always a solid bet.” Marking the wager down in his book, Arnold snapped it shut with an air of finality and the group began to disperse.
Quite shaken by such a public and embarrassing scene so early in the morning, Ralphie let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding and let his shoulders fall under the weight of the encounter. He closed his lunchbox, but not before the kid behind him got a good look at what was inside. A tap on the shoulder startled Ralphie and he turned around swiftly, eyes wide.
“Choosing what to give up for Arnold’s future gambling addiction is the worst. But I would have kept the Dunkaroos too.” The reassuring smile of one of his classmates, Carlos, softened his fears.
“What’s a gambling addiction?”
“I don’t know. That’s just what my dad said when I asked him to start packing me two treats on Mondays.” Carlos replied, shrugging. “If more than one kid is right they split it all up. Well, Arnold splits it up, so whoever is better friends with him always gets the best treats.”
“Oh, that makes sense I guess. What’d you have to give them?” Ralphie asked as the two walked through the school’s hallways, meandering behind the rest of the kids making their way to Miss. Frizzles classroom.
“My dad packs me sugar free gummies for Mondays, but they don’t know I’ve got some Gushers hidden under my tuna sandwich.” The two burst into laughter as they entered the classroom, Ralphie's worries all but forgotten. Their illicit Dunkaroos and Gushers felt like the kind of secret shared between friends.
As the children took their seats Miss. Frizzle bustled in, late as usual, and practically threw her coat and tote bag at her desk chair as the first bell rang. She shed yet another sweater and Tim let out an “oh man!” as a dress covered in different types of food was revealed. An equally triumphant noise traveled across the room from where Arnold sat. Ralphie looked over to Carlos’ desk, who motioned towards Miss. Frizzle’s feet. Arnold definitely hadn’t noticed the mismatching socks yet.
“Good morning class!” Miss. Frizzle threw her arms open as she did every morning and greeted her class with a smile. “Today we’ve got some truly exciting stuff on the schedule, but first let me take roll.”
Ralphie drowsily observed his fellow classmates as they raised their hands and announced that they were, in fact, in the classroom when their names were called. Miss. Frizzle performed the perfunctory task of roll call with just as much enthusiasm as she taught every day, like every subject, and every homework assignment was the most exciting thing that had ever happened in any one of their short lives. His mother had been exhausted just being in her presence for a mere 15 minutes when transferring him to the school, but Ralphie thought she was pretty cool.
He seemed to be the only one in the class that thought so, or maybe some of the other kids hid their admiration for her to keep their reputations intact. Ralphie found her enthusiasm for teaching gave him an equal enthusiasm for learning, and since it seemed like he’d made a friend his outlook on that school day was all positive. He even thought he might trade a couple of his Dunkaroos for a couple of Carlo’s Gushers at lunch later that day.
It was only two hours into the school day when things took an unexpected turn. Everything was totally normal, they’d just started their math lesson for the day, Miss. Frizzle was acting like multiplication was the most amazing thing in the whole world, and then she just stopped. She stopped talking, she stopped moving, and if the children had been close enough they might have noticed that she had even stopped breathing.
She stopped for just long enough to cause concern, a couple of whispers among the students, one even calling her name to see if she’d respond. But then her head snapped up, her perpetual smile snuffed out and replaced with a deadpan look. The excitement that had previously filled her eyes as she took them through the 9 times multiplication tables was replaced by an unnameable nothingness. Her eyes stared straight ahead and she took a long rattling breath in.
“Children. It’s time for a field trip.” She said, all of her usual joy missing from her tone. She turned robotically towards the classroom door and started towards it.
“Miss. Frizzle, we don’t have a field trip planned. My parents didn’t sign any permission slip for a field trip.” Phoebe piped up from the front row of desks. None of the children had moved from their seats, their confusion at this sudden change in plans evident on their faces.
“It’s time for a field trip.” Miss. Frizzle repeated. She did not turn to the children or move towards the door, but stood there, waiting.
Carlos was the first to move. He stood up, walked to the back of the classroom, picking up his backpack and lunch box, and joined Miss. Frizzle at the front of the room. His movement seemed to give the rest of the class permission to do the same, though the air of uneasiness did not leave the room. The children rustled about in silence, picking up their bags and assembling in a line behind their teacher. Abandoning his spot as leader of the pack at the head of the line, Carlos shuffled back and stood next to Ralphie. They exchanged a worried glance.
As soon as all the students were ready, Miss. Frizzle began to walk again. Ralphie wasn’t sure how she’d known they were all ready, she hadn’t taken her eyes off the door the whole time they’d been gathering their things. But they all followed without comment as she led them out of the classroom, down the hallway, through the double doors to the parking lot, and out towards what they’d always assumed was a broken down school bus.
The door opened with a metallic screech, and Miss. Frizzle popped the hood and then disappeared underneath it as the students filed onto the bus one at a time. Ralphie and Carlos sat next to each other, Ralphie’s fingers tapping nervously on the plastic seat cover as soon as they sat down.
“Is this normal? Does she sometimes just announce a whole field trip in the middle of a regular day?” He whispered to Carlos, his eyes darting towards the front of the bus, waiting for Miss. Frizzle to pop back inside.
“No. She’s never done this before. Did it seem like she was acting weird to you?” Carlos responded, his whispers urgent, like they’d have to stop talking as soon as Miss. Frizzle was back. The tense atmosphere was so different from their usual field trips with their teacher, they almost didn’t have the capacity to process that the emotion they were experiencing was fear.
Ralphie looked over across the aisle to Arnold, who looked just as nervous as he felt. Somehow seeing that Arnold was just as shaken as he was made Ralphie feel even worse. It was the way she’d spoken. It was her eyes. He stared at the back of the seat in front of him and tried to steady his breathing. He could hear all of his classmates breathing, erratic and belabored, it was the only noise in the bus.
Miss. Frizzle stepped back on the bus and turned to look at the scared children, who stared back at her, searching for any sign that the enthusiastic teacher that had been teaching them math 30 minutes ago was still there. For his part, Ralphie didn’t see anything.
“Do not be alarmed children. This is a field trip.” She said, without a smile or so much as a hint of emotion. Then she turned back away, sat in the driver's seat, and the school buses engine roared to life.
“Does she usually drive the school bus?” Ralphie tried to whisper to Carlos but the sound of the old engine was loud. Arnold caught a hold of his comment.
“No. There’s always a bus driver.” He sucked in a quick breath and looked at Carlos, his eyes filled with fear, “Where’s the bus driver?”
The bus swung out of the school’s parking lot and sped down the adjacent residential street. They were going so fast that Ralphie thought for sure an adult would see and recognize that the whole situation was out of the ordinary. But they didn’t stop, they just kept speeding down the road, turning sharply every once in a while, the bus feeling like it might topple over.
Then they were on the freeway, the bus clearly didn’t want to go the full speed limit, not to mention above it. The engine roared even louder, an unsettling grinding noise drowning out all other sounds. Carlos gripped the seat in front of them so hard his hands started to shake, and Ralphie stopped being able to control his breath. Then just as it seemed like the bus’s old engine was about to explode the bus roared onto the overpass, Miss. Frizzle jerked the steering wheel upwards in a way that shouldn't have been possible, and the bus left the ground.
Another metallic screech tore through the air around the children, and the bus took off, slicing through the sky, up and up and up. Ralphie looked out the window in a panic and saw the ground getting further and further away. He threw his head between his legs and threw up on the floor of the bus. He could barely hear anything over the noise of the school bus but he was fairly certain several of his classmates were screaming.
Their ascension through the layers of the atmosphere seemed like it took both 5 minutes and 5 years. The children couldn’t wrap their heads around what was happening. Carlos grabbed onto Ralphie's arm with an iron grip.
“Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!” He screamed to Ralphie… to himself… to no one.
And then suddenly they broke free of earth’s atmosphere. Where there once was deafening noise came stark silence. Both Carlos and Ralphie scrambled to hold onto their seats as their bodies lifted up, untethered by gravity. With a deep breath Ralphie chanced a look out the window again and was greeted by an expanse of stars like he’d never seen before. If he wasn’t so terrified he might have been fascinated.
Carlos tapped Ralphie on the shoulder and then pointed to the front of the bus, out through the windshield. There, obscuring the stars behind it, was a large space vessel, and the bus was headed right towards it. Ralphie thought of Miss. Frizzle's space dress and her planet earrings and wished for a time when the idea of space had been theoretical and the threat of something alien wasn’t so imminent.
Quicker than they'd thought possible the bus reached the space vessel and docked. Artificial gravity hit their small bodies hard and slammed them right back down into their seats. Miss Frizzle stood at the front of the bus and addressed the class.
“Do not be alarmed children. This is a field trip.” She said, and gestured towards the school bus door, as if to invite the children to leave. Not one child got up, each frozen in fear and shock.
Then, their teacher’s skin began to bubble, like her whole body was boiling. The bubbles increased until the skin started to drip off of her body, her whole form suddenly covered in liquified tissue, sloughing off onto the floor of the bus. As her body shed its covering the true form of Miss. Frizzle was revealed underneath. The hairless creature before them looked like it might have once had a humanoid form, but that over generations it had been stretched out, every bit of its body elongated. Its hands had 7 fingers each that each ended it a rounded nub without fingernails. The traditional two eyes were replaced by one, smack dab in the middle of a round head, its mouth right beneath, a round circle of teeth. It uttered an ungodly shriek.
Not to be out done, Phoebe's screams pierced the air, and Ralphie watched as her lunchbox sailed through the air, nailing Miss. Frizzle in the head. Without the need for prompting, the rest of the students opened their bags and began hurling whatever they could at the creature. Pencil boxes, notebooks, and all manner of toys flew towards their captor.
Ralphie picked up his lunch box to throw, only to have the clasp break and the box open, dumping the contents of his lunch over the seat next to him. He tossed the open lunchbox into the frey and then began throwing his individual lunch items. A disturbing suction noise came from Miss Frizzle, as her circular mouth widened and she began sucking up all the oxygen in the bus. As the air was stolen from Ralphie's lungs he gave one more heave and threw his last remaining lunch item, a package of Dunkaroos, straight at the creature.
The package, caught up in the stream of air whipping its way into Miss. Fizzle’s alien mouth was quickly sucked up before she could realize what was happening. The children watched as the Dunkaroos hit its throat and the sucking stopped, the creature's one eye bulging as it clutched its throat. As Miss. Frizzle stumbled backwards, its foot hit the stairs, and she stumbled backwards out of the bus.
Carlos darted forward to close the door as Ralphie ran after him. With a barrier between themselves and the creature, they turned their attention to the bus.
“Does anyone know how to fly a spaceship?”